Well, the simple answer to that question is for some, online dating can be very successful but for others, it won’t work.
There are many reasons online dating won’t work for you:
- Maybe your expectations are unreasonable
- Your dating profile gives the wrong impression, and it attracts the wrong people
- Your profile picture isn’t great so it’s not getting the attention it deserves
- It’s all about you. Your profile is very closed, and it consists of me, me, me
- You enter into it at a low point in your life and you’re not mentally ready
That said, there are thousands of stories that prove, with the right mindset and possibly some help and guidance, online dating can be very successful.
Meet Verity and Paul
Eleven years ago, both Verity and Paul had walked away from their marriages. Neither of them came out without scars. Their relationships hadn’t ended well, and it had made them very sceptical of any future relationships.
Coincidently, their marriages had ended at exactly the same time and they had both lived the single life (by choice) for eleven months before feeling ready to start again.
They both decided (after several glasses of wine) to try online dating. Both of them had no expectations, they deliberately looked for people who lived a long way away because they weren’t actually looking for love. All they wanted was to start feeling confident enough to talk to members of the opposite sex again.
I interviewed them recently and here’s what they had to say.
Q: “How long were you dating online before finding each other?”
P: (laughing again) “Only a week. I had some random messages offering things I didn’t even know existed and then I had a notification to say someone liked me”
Q: “What was it that attracted you to each other?”
V: “His profile picture, definitely. He looked seriously hot. It wasn’t like all the other photos, it was really natural, he was laughing in it and he just looked genuine”
P: “Again, her picture. It wasn’t staged. She wasn’t trying to pull a selfie. She was actually dancing in it. I now know how bad a dancer she actually is, so it was clearly taken at a good moment”
Q: “Verity, apart from Pauls profile picture, what else attracted you to him?”
V: “His actual profile. It was so honest. Although he wrote about what he enjoys, he introduced his children into it, so I knew that this was a guy who wasn’t trying to hide anything. It was interesting, he wanted to share experiences with someone, and it wasn’t all about him”
Q: “So, if I asked you the question, can online dating be successful, what would you say?”
V: “When Paul and I started talking, I lived in Wales and he lived in Bedford. I loved my home, and he was never going to leave because of his children. I thought I was safe (laughing) because we were never going to meet.
Three months later, I had transferred my job and we were moving into our new home together. Six months after that, we found out we were expecting our first child.
Fast forward ten years, Paul is still the love of my life. We have two beautiful children together and I have two amazing stepsons. So, can online dating be successful?
Absolutely!!!”
Online dating can be successful for many reasons
It can help with confidence, it can build friendships and yes, you can find love as long as you approach it in the right way.
What stands out to me from Verity and Paul’s story is what originally attracted them to each other, their:
Maybe I do know what I’m talking about 😃
If you are at cross-roads with it all and wondering ‘can online dating be successful’ the answer is yes, but make sure you’re ready for it and get some help to make yourself stand out from the crowd and attract the right attention.
