I’m going to say it. When it comes to online dating, you should always be unapologetically you!
I’m having a little giggle as I write this. If you had told me a few years back that my life would heavily revolve around dating, I would have laughed. But here I am, a photographer who spends a lot of her time either photographing the amazing singles community for their online dating profiles, or bringing them together for face to face dating events
Crazy, right?
Online dating isn’t as intimidating as it used to be. Nowadays, it’s the norm to set up an online dating profile and attempt to find a match from a screen. You would be hard pushed to find a single friend who isn’t on at least one of the popular dating apps.
It’s an industry that’s soured over the last decade and let’s be honest, it hasn’t always been without its challenges.
Because like it or not, when you’re online dating, you don’t always get what it says on the tin, unlike with Ronseal!
The thing about dating via a screen is that you can, in theory, be whoever you want to be. You don’t have to disclose anything you don’t want to. You can quite literally, hide.
But is it the right thing to do? Is it better to stay aloof and not be the real you or should you just ‘own it’ and be unapologetically you?
Well, I think you know which camp I’m sitting in!
Why you should be unapologetically you when online dating
Being honest is hard. Let’s face it, we live in a world that revolves around fake! We are surrounded by Insta-perfect images, reality TV stars and airbrushed models. It stands to reason that presenting our true authentic selves is a scary option.
We are scared of being ourselves because rejection is real. If we put ourselves out there, we feel vulnerable and judged.
But, and it’s a big but. If you’re out there in the singles universe and trying to find someone to build a relationship with, how can you possibly do that if you’re not being your true, authentic self?
Imagine meeting someone online, feeling really good about it and excited to take it further, only to find that in reality, they are not the person they represented online.
You’d be devastated, right?
I get it. I get that you want to make the best impression. You feel that you will only get people engaged with your profile if it’s a little bit jazzy. No one wants to hear the real story, right?
Wrong! Because if you’re genuinely looking to find a deeper connection with someone, the foundation of that relationship will be based on trust.
And at some point, they will see the real you so why not just own it, embrace it, and just be unapologetically you, right from the start?
What do I mean by ‘be unapologetically you?
Listen, I’m not talking about having a profile picture showing you in all your morning glory, I’m talking more about what your profile actually says about you.
If you’re writing it just to impress and not being honest then you can’t get annoyed when it doesn’t work out.
Having things in common
One of the best ways to connect with someone online is by having things in common. If you’re not honest about what you like in your profile then you will naturally attract the wrong people.
Say it as it is. Tell your viewers what you like and dislike. Someone out there will have the same interests and they are the person you are trying to attract.
Don’t apologise for your interests. Be proud of them!
You can’t maintain perfection
Wouldn’t it be amazing to wake up every morning looking gorgeous, having the struggles in life just wash over our heads and feel lovely and bouncy 24/7.
Well, I’m sorry to tell you that none of us are real life Disney princes or princesses, and if you’re trying to maintain a perfect image, your crown is going to slip, and slip hard!
Don’t apologise for your imperfections. Be proud of them!
Tell me what you want, what you really really want
I’ve seen this a million times. People being really vague or casual about what they’re looking for because they don’t want to scare anyone off.
If you’re looking for a long term relationship, being casual about it isn’t exactly going to attract the right people. It’s more likely to attract someone who is looking for a good time and nothing deeper.
Look, we’re all busy. So why waste time messing around? If you don’t say what you’re looking for, how will you ever find it?
It’s ok to be honest about what you want. Yes, it will deter those who are looking for something different but that’s a good thing. What’s important is that it will resonate with the right people and isn’t it your aim to find the right person?
Don’t apologise for wanting more. Be proud of it!
And the most important reason that you should be unapologetically you is...
Because you are fabulous!
There is no-one else out there like you. You are totally unique and you should be proud of it. If you’re trying to be someone else, you’ll never find the person who is meant for you and trust me, there is someone out there who is dying to meet you so give them the best version of yourself… the unapologetic version.
Stay happy, stay safe and stay authentically you.
